Works Cited

Dickens, C. Bleak House. Vintage Classics; England, 2008.

Dickens, C. David Copperfield. Wordsworth Editions; London, 1992.

Video on Heart Attack Grill Post:: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zbKRSYAuSNg&feature=player_embedded

Video on Hooters post:: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k_55Db9qI2o&feature=player_embedded

Bleak House, bleak food?

It seems that Dickens in David Copperfield and Bleak House explores two sides of the waiting staff. In David Copperfield we have the bumbling waiter who steals David's food because presumably he is unable to afford his own. In Bleak House we have the female waitress who is hosting men of a higher class than that of David.
In the picture the waitress is wearing a long flowing gown that I would definitely not be able to work in a long dress, considering my restaurant has lots of stairs!!

An extract from Bleak House:


Accordingly they betake themselves to a neighbouring dining-house, of the class known among its frequenters by the denomination slap- bang, where the waitress, a bouncing young female of forty, is supposed to have made some impression on the susceptible Smallweed, of whom it may be remarked that he is a weird changeling to whom years are nothing. . . .


Into the dining-house, unaffected by the seductive show in the window of artificially whitened cauliflowers and poultry, verdant baskets of peas, coolly blooming cucumbers, and joints ready for the spit, Mr. Smallweed leads the way. They know him there and defer to him. He has his favourite box, he bespeaks all the papers, he is down upon bald patriarchs, who keep them more than ten minutes afterwards. It is of no use trying him with anything less than a full-sized "bread" or proposing to him any joint in cut unless it is in the very best cut. In the matter of gravy he is adamant.


Conscious of his elfin power and submitting to his dread experience, Mr. Guppy consults him in the choice of that day's banquet, turning an appealing look towards him as the waitress repeats the catalogue of viands and saying "What do YOU take, Chick?" Chick, out of the profundity of his artfulness, preferring "veal and ham and French beans — and don't you forget the stuffing, Polly" (with an unearthly cock of his venerable eye), Mr. Guppy and Mr. Jobling give the like order. Three pint pots of half-and-half are superadded. Quickly the waitress returns bearing what is apparently a model of the Tower of Babel but what is really a pile of plates and flat tin dish-covers. Mr. Smallweed, approving of what is set before him, conveys intelligent benignity into his ancient eye and winks upon her. Then, amid a constant coming in, and going out, and running about, and a clatter of crockery, and a rumbling up and down of the machine which brings the nice cuts from the kitchen, and a shrill crying for more nice cuts down the speaking-pipe, and a shrill reckoning of the cost of nice cuts that have been disposed of, and a general flush and steam of hot joints, cut and uncut, and a considerably heated atmosphere in which the soiled knives and tablecloths seem to break out spontaneously into eruptions of grease and blotches of beer, the legal triumvirate appease their appetites.

What I love here is the reference to a pile of plates and flat tin dish-covers as being similar to the Tower of Babel, where the variation in human language began. Being a waitress does sometimes feel like a meddling of languages. Especially with regards to the menu, it amazes me how many people do not read the menu when they go out for dinner. I ask them a question about the food they have just ordered. For example how they would like their steak cooked and they look at me like I am speaking a different language. I do feel anger towards people who do not read the menu, it seems to me pointless of going out for dinner.

When being a waiter goes horribly wrong

Now this is not a post about my experiences at work, it is one that has come from being at the other side of the table and being waited on. It happened a few years ago and begun with a day trip to Alton Towers. Due to it being so far away we decided to stay there for the night. So that evening we went out for dinner in a restaurant that I sadly can not remember the name of, but I guess that will not be important with what I'm about to tell you. 

So we are sitting down waiting for our food to arrive, I had ordered fajitas with all the trimmings and was incredibly hungry so could not wait for them to arrive. It is when they arrived that everything began to go down hill.

So a waiter brings over my sizzling fajitas that smell lovely, and then the dreaded thing happens. He begins to put the plate down and then all of a sudden I have a lap full of guacamole, sour cream and cheese. I was even lucky enough to have some in my handbag if I wanted to have a little bit later. The waiter gets all flustered, apologetic and red faced and obviously I did not see him again for the rest of the evening. 

I am lucky enough to have never thrown a plate of food over any of my customers. 

David and the friendly waiter

In his works David Copperfield and Bleak House Charles Dickens has the characters interact with a waiting staff. In David Copperfield we have the over friendly waiter who happily takes it upon his self to take poor David's food when he fancies. Waiting staff and their principles have definitely changed since this time, I can never imagine taking a seat and nabbing some of a customers food, I'm pretty sure that they would be horrified. Although it is funny when customers are not happy with their food they will try and encourage me to try some just in case I think that they are lying. No thanks, if your not going to eat it then why on earth do you think I would even want to try some!?


Here is an extract of the wonderful moment where the young David is faced with the waiter who wants everything that he has in front of him:

'Why you see,' said the waiter, still looking at the light through the tumbler, with one of his eyes shut up, 'our people don't like things being ordered and left. It offends 'em. But I'll drink it, if you like. I'm used to it, and use is everything. I don't think it'll hurt me, if I throw my head back, and take it off quick. Shall I?'

I replied that he would much oblige me by drinking it, if he thought he could do it safely, but by no means otherwise. When he did throw his head back, and take it off quick, I had a horrible fear, I confess, of seeing him meet the fate of the lamented Mr. Topsawyer, and fall lifeless on the carpet. But it didn't hurt him. On the contrary, I thought he seemed the fresher for it.

'What have we got here?' he said, putting a fork into my dish. 'Not chops?'

'Chops,' I said.

'Lord bless my soul!' he exclaimed, 'I didn't know they were chops. Why, a chop's the very thing to take off the bad effects of that beer! Ain't it lucky?'

So he took a chop by the bone in one hand, and a potato in the other, and ate away with a very good appetite, to my extreme satisfaction. He afterwards took another chop, and another potato; and after that, another chop and another potato. When we had done, he brought me a pudding, and having set it before me, seemed to ruminate, and to become absent in his mind for some moments.

'How's the pie?' he said, rousing himself.

'It's a pudding,' I made answer.

'Pudding!' he exclaimed. 'Why, bless me, so it is! What!' looking at it nearer. 'You don't mean to say it's a batter-pudding!'

'Yes, it is indeed.'

'Why, a batter-pudding,' he said, taking up a table-spoon, 'is my favourite pudding! Ain't that lucky? Come on, little 'un, and let's see who'll get most.'

The waiter certainly got most. He entreated me more than once to come in and win, but what with his table-spoon to my tea-spoon, his dispatch to my dispatch, and his appetite to my appetite, I was left far behind at the first mouthful, and had no chance with him. I never saw anyone enjoy a pudding so much, I think; and he laughed, when it was all gone, as if his enjoyment of it lasted still.

Finding him so very friendly and companionable, it was then that I asked for the pen and ink and paper, to write to Peggotty. He not only brought it immediately, but was good enough to look over me while I wrote the letter. When I had finished it, he asked me where I was going to school.

Table Manners and Rude Children

Now I did start out my blog saying that I try not to judge people but one thing that I hate is rude customers, its not too hard to say please and thank you. I suppose that some people just find it hard being polite. Being a waitress I have learnt that some children have no manners and neither do their parents.

Referring back to one table in particular there were 7 children and 4 adults and I am going to claim that it was the worst table I have ever had to deal with.

Imagine you go over to a table of people ask them if anyone wants a drink and everyone ignores you, even the adults, and just as you about to walk away the children suddenly notice that you are there and then they all start shouting drink orders at me without please or thank you's. I'm going to stop here before this turns into a full blown rant but you can imagine what the rest of the evening serving them was like (and by the way they didn't leave a tip).

Heart Attack Grill

So I happened to stumble upon this crazy restaurant whilst doing some research; The Heart Attack Grill. The name obviously says it all. A place where you can get a massive burger that is oozing with around 8,000 calories (with the recommended daily allowance being no more than 2,500 that is shocking! More than 3 days of your daily allowance, how do people not feel guilty after that massive calorie intake?!?).

The Quadruple Bypass Burger

You have the privilege of eating for free if you are lucky enough to weigh over 350lbs, although you could probably do without the burger and the lard fried chips if you want my honest opinion.

If you are hungry enough to finish a Triple or Quadruple Bypass Burger then you will be lucky enough to get wheeled out to the car park in a wheelchair by one of the 'waitresses'.

What boggled my brain about this establishment the most was the waitresses, now Hooters is one thing but this place is definitely one step ahead in craziness than that. The waitresses dress up as skimpy dressed nurses which I suppose makes the greedy grease guzzling customers feel slightly reassured if anything did happen to them.

The Latex Clad Nurses

And just when you possibly thought that things would not get any stranger, we come to the owner: 

"Dr. Jon"

Yep he does refer to himself as a doctor and he strangely reminds me of Uncle Fester, and he opened the restaurant with the idea of serving "nutritional pornography" food that is "so bad for its shocking". The last siren that goes off in my head when I think of this place is nutrition. 

"Delightfully tacky yet unrefined"

Are you wondering where the title of this blog post has come from? Well its the tag line of the American chain of 'Hooters'.

Hooters are primarily known for their young attractive waitresses who walk around the restaurant in tiny teeny shorts and tight fitted tops that mean that they become the main selling point of the restaurant chain. Where I work I'm sure the selling point is the food but hey the Americans have a weird way of promoting franchise.

So if you go to Hooters this is what you should expect to see:

The bright orange shorts are a sure thing to put you off your food.

How is everything with your meal?

As hard as I try I find that this is also the case every time. I happen to walk past and ask how things are just as someone is plunging a forkful of their fillet steak in their mouth. Wonderful timing as always.